Be Authentically You: The Wisdom of When (Part 1 of 3)

In life you will always encounter people who don’t like you, reject you and who oppose you all because of the calling that’s on your life. The devil will often use other people to negatively affect you. Once he sees with whom he can use, he will attack and keep attacking until he gets you distracted and off-course from achieving your purpose and destiny.  

You are who God says you are, and you aren’t anything God says you are not. The Bible holds many other wonderful truths like in Psalm 139:14 about how much God loves you and what His thoughts are towards you. They are plans and thoughts for peace and well-being and not for disaster or calamity, to give you a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). 

True value comes from within, from who you believe you are in Christ, not from others’ approval or acceptance. Never live your life striving to please and be accepted by anyone because you are already accepted by the God of the universe, by Christ, in the beloved. To the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved (Ephesians 1:6). Living for others’ approval and acceptance leads to loss of identity and purpose.

Deep joy, lasting fulfillment and satisfaction comes when you accept the person God created you uniquely and authentically to be instead of trying to be someone else, what the world or others want you to be. 

Right now, you may be searching and searching for who you are. You may try to find it in different churches, in different experiences and by going through different phases but you are asking yourself the wrong question. The question is not about who you are but whose you are and who you are in Christ. With a relationship with Jesus, allowing Him to pour and fill to overflowing His love and presence in your heart, is the only thing that will fill that void and emptiness within you. 

You will never find yourself in the world, and if you try to find it there, you will get lost. You will only find your true self in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who gave His life so that you will have a life and a life more abundantly (John 10:10). A relationship with Jesus changes everything and like in every relationship and fellowship, time must be spent in developing, nurturing and strengthening it.

There’s no one else like you in this world and you have a unique purpose in the body of Christ. Embracing your unique self would mean you would have to recognize your self-worth and have the courage to be different and establish boundaries in your relationships. Boundaries are a self-protecting mechanism designed to help you stay true to your faith, morals and values. It helps set a barrier you would not cross so that you don’t compromise. 

If you do something in one area of your life, eventually it will trickle down to every other area of your life. You compromise in one area and that would lead to compromising in other areas. 

Stand up for yourself and your beliefs, don’t allow people to treat you and speak to you in a demeaning or wrong manner no matter who they may be just to keep the peace and avoid confusion or confrontation. 

When you allow others to treat you badly, you are allowing and encouraging wrong behavior and are showing others it’s okay to treat you in the same way. By doing this you are compromising in that one area of your life which as mentioned before, will trickle down to other areas of your life. 

One major area is your relationship with the devil, you will eventually allow wrong behavior with the enemy, you will allow the enemy to attack you in your mind, body and emotions. When that happens, the devil that’s prowling around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour, will devour you. Then he will eventually steal, kill and destroy you (1 Peter 5:8). 

Lester Sumrall among many other great things was a great deliverer and he vowed never to back down, not in any area of his life because he knew it would affect him backing down when confronting the devil. After a sermon when he would exit and go down the aisle, many times he would forget his Bible, and he would always ask someone to go get it for him back at the podium because he did not want to turn around and go back from where he came. In little things he never compromised and backed up, and so he knew in the big things he wouldn’t either. 

I’m not saying to argue or scream at the person or lower yourself to their level to even return the same demeaning and wrong words back at them, but you could stand up for yourself without being unkind and by saying it in love, with grace and dignity. 

When you stand up for yourself you establish your boundary, putting a stop to the wrong behavior and not compromising. Ephesians 4:15 states we should speak the truth in love (in all things—both our speech and our lives expressing His truth), so we can grow up in all things into Him (following His example) who is the Head—Christ.

There is though, great power in silence. Proverbs 10:14: “A wise man holds his tongue. Only a fool blurts out everything he knows; that only leads to sorrow and trouble.”

Silence speaks louder than words. It avoids unnecessary escalation and conflict. When faced with situations that are unlikely to lead to constructive outcomes, Dr. Myles Monroe advises to choose to remain silent. It’s not something that is easy to do when someone treats you badly, criticizes and provokes you. Being silent is a choice where you choose to shift your focus on remembering who you are and whose you are. 

As I mentioned before the devil will use people to attack you and to draw out a negative response from you but when you choose to be silent it confuses and frustrates your opponent, and they realize their words have no power over you. 

When you understand this, you realize this is a form of manipulation and witchcraft, you won’t then engage the way they want you to. In Galatians 5:19-21 Paul talks against living by the works of the flesh, one of the works is witchcraft and the TPT translation calls it manipulation. In this same scripture, the TPT mentions to also avoid senseless arguments. 

Dr. Monroe said that silence is not weakness it’s strength under control and not every battle is worth fighting and not every critic is worth answering because at times the greatest response is no response at all. 

He also talks about the importance of protecting your energy and time as precious and finite resources. Dr. Monroe teaches us that not everyone deserves unlimited access to our time and energy, and we ought to be intentional about where we invest our energy because it would lead to better outcomes. 

He also mentions that self-care is necessary for maintaining energy levels that’s why it makes no sense engaging in senseless arguments. He continues to say that our energy is better spent in achieving higher goals and purpose instead of on minor disputes, criticisms or unnecessary drama. Dr. Monroe adds that we should be wise with our energy and focus it on meaningful people and activities aligned with our purpose and to set boundaries with draining situations.

When you’re faced with a situation of negativity and criticism, first be silent and remember that you’re an ambassador of Christ and you are to reflect Him and His response in every situation, and that you know the God of peace and strength lives in you. Also, be mindful to keep grounded in your faith, beliefs and values, committed to your purpose and destiny. 

Dr. Monroe says that in choosing to be silent you are choosing peace over conflict, purpose over distraction and wisdom over foolishness and that you’re showing you trust a higher power to fight your battles and that you have faith in a divine plan that cannot be thwarted by mere words. 

He says that in choosing silence, you display incredible inner strength, maturity, integrity, mental and emotional resilience and self-control guided by a strong sense of self, character and purpose. Dr. Monroe shows us that maintaining your silence disrupts our opponents plans and forces them to confront their own insecurities and issues instead of focusing on you, their attention shifts to their own shortcomings and discomforts resulting in the confrontation or potential argument dissipating.

2 Timothy 1:7 states that God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. Also, the fruits of the Spirit as stated in Galatians 5:22-23 are love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. By looking at these two scriptures we clearly see that by being born-again with the Holy Spirit living in us we have access to love, self-control and all the other fruits of the Spirit to draw on whenever we need it.

 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you (James 1:5).

Therefore, in every situation you have a choice. Decide to let wisdom not impulse guide you to which issues are worth addressing and which are better left alone, always protect your peace. Peace is one of the fruits of the spirit that God gave you and no one has the right to take that away from you unless you allow them to. The same goes with all the other fruits as well. 

If you do feel lead to speak up, ask the Holy Spirit to put the right words in your mouth and to ready their hearts to receive. Just as God was with Moses’ mouth, He is also able to teach you what to say and how to say it in the difficult situations you face (Joyce Meyer). 

Be sure the check-out Part 2 of “Be Authentically You” titled “Patterning His Love & Forgiveness” to find out how we are to please God rather than man and to live a lifestyle of love and forgiveness. This one is not to be missed! 

References:

Meyer, Joyce. Battlefield of the Mind Bible. FaithWords; Hachette Book Group, 2017. 

Monroe, Dr. Myles. “Stop Being The Nice Girl.” YouTube, YouTube, www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qwlrIVKIWs. Accessed 3 Feb. 2025.